My Five Things the Rangers Never Did
by Psycho Tangerine
Summary: My insane version of five things never done by the Rangers based on the challenge started by Panache. Rated T just in case.
1. Bridge's Hands

Disclaimer: I don't own the Rangers. That's all.

Hi! Several fanfic authors have been writing stories about five things Rangers have never done. At least I think that's what the challenge is. Well, I decided to participate in my own strange way. And this began building up in my head. So I thought I'd let it come out.

**Five Things Bridge Never Wore on His Hands**

**By**

**Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)**

1

The SPD Rangers were in the middle of yet another battle. They had no problem defeating the krybots but the monster of the day was proving to be another problem. They had been attacking with all of their individual weapons for the past two hours and were getting exhausted.

"Bwwwwaaahhahahhahah!" shouted the BoogieHead Monster. "I have the upperhand! None of your weapons will stop me! Emporer Grumm shall rule this puny planet! Bwwaaahahahahaa!"

'That does it!" gasped Jack who was supporting a panting Z. "I don't care what you say, Bridge, we're going to do it."

"You mean you and Z are…. right here in front of us?" asked Bridge, oblivious to the glares of his teammates. "I mean do you really want to do that? We're pretty advanced but that may be going a bit too far. And do you really want that vile, disgusting poopie-head of a monster to be watching or maybe even videotaping as you both get all sweaty and…Eeeep!" he quickly doubled over from the vicious kick Z gave him.

"That's not what he meant, Doofus," said Sky. He turned to Jack. "Please tell me that isn't what you're talking about." Sky then clammed up as Z whipped her glare in his direction as well.

Jack rolled his eyes in exasperation. "No wonder I got to be leader." He continued ignoring the threats Sky was now mumbling. "I was trying to say we have to call on RIC and we have to do it now! I don't think Syd's gonna be able to hold off BoogieHead by herself much longer."

"WHAT?!" cried Bridge. "NO! DON'T…"

"Well, it would be nice if you idiots stopped yapping and helped me here….aaaahhhhh!" she screeched as a blob of green snot fell on her head. "My hair! My beautiful hair! That does it! Call RIC now, Jack!"

"PLEASE NO!" whined Bridge. "There has to be another…"

But Jack paid no heed to him. Instead he called for RIC.

"Bark Bark Bark Bark!" said the robotic dog as it pulled itself off Bridge's hands and formed itself into the Canine Cannon. Jack, Z, Sky, and Syd grabbed the cannon and aimed for the monster while Bridge collapsed as the sudden rush of emotions from everyone including the monster overwhelmed him.

Three seconds later, the BoogieHead Monster was a pile of ashes. Jack turned to his sobbing teammate. "Why don't you just wear gloves like the rest of us Rangers?" He held up one of his own gloved hands.

Bridge looked up at Jack and the others then smacked himself on the forehead. "Aaaaahhhhhh!" he screamed as his own thoughts and emotions attacked him through his bare hands in a continuous loop.

2

"Hey! Heya you there!"

"I believe he's calling you, Bridge," said Z, indicating the man standing at the door of Gino's Pizza Parlor.

Bridge sighed. "Maybe he's calling one of you. Maybe…"

The man stomped out and began jabbing Bridge in the chest. "Whatta you doin' here? You gotta customers waiting!"

"But I don't work…."

"You gotta that right. You don't work you lazy good for nothing bum. I'm not paying you to stand here all day."

"You're not paying me at all," mumbled Bridge.

"I'm a gonna lose more customers thanks to you!" The man shouted as he shoved Bridge towards one of the delivery cars. "I'm a gonna go bankrupt! Go deliver those pizza pies now!" With that, he stomped back into the restaurant.

Z sauntered over to Bridge. "_Now_ do you think wearing those pizza boxes on your hands is such a good idea?"

"Maybe not," replied Bridge. He dangled the keys the restaurant manager had given him. "But hop in, and let's see what this baby can do!"

"Fine, but I'm driving this time. You're not putting me into intensive care like you did with the others!"

(My apologies for the horrendous attempt at an Italian accent.)

3

"Bridge! Bridge!" called Jack as he ran into the kitchen.

"What is it Jack?" asked Bridge.

"Sorry, Bud, but I'm afraid they're coming."

Bridge panicked. "Monsters? Grumm's krybots? What do I do? I can't go after them like this!"

Jack leaned back on the counter. "Actually they're not the ones coming. We took the liberty of making a few calls to solve this little 'problem' of yours." With that, four large men in white coats rushed into the room.

"Noooooooooooo!" cried Bridge as they yanked his frostbitten left hand out of the freezer and his burnt right hand out of the oven, straightjacketed him and dragged him out of the building and into the ambulance.

4

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" screamed Syd as she entered the SPD common room. "I can't take it anymore!"

"What? Still having trouble spending all of Daddy's money in one shopping spree?" asked Z nonchalantly as she browsed a magazine.

"Oh ha ha ha, very funny," replied Syd. "Bridge is driving me crazy. I mean it was cute and all at first. But now…"

Z nodded now knowing what her teammate was referring to. "And profitable. Don't forget profitable. We've been clearing over two hundred bucks a week at all those kid's parties and at the children's theater."

"Yeah, but now he's…. he's…." Syd dissolved into tears.

"Too bad everyone's gotten tired of the act," said Jack as he came in and flopped onto one of the couches. "I was putting my share towards this cool red BMW. But, really, Bridge has gotten a bit too obsessed with the whole thing."

"Definitely," said Z as she put her magazine away and began looking for a new one to read. "But I still don't see why it's freaking you out so much Syd."

"STOP IT!!!!" shouted Sky as he ran into the room. He ducked behind a video game console.

"Awwwww come one, Skysie Wysie," cooed Bridge in a high-pitched voice as he ran after the now trembling Blue SPD Ranger. "Give Poopsie Woopsie a kissy wissy. I'll cry and wet myself if you don't." He was holding up the green sock puppet on his right hand. It had mismatched button eyes, strands of yellow yarn for hair, and a markered on smile.

Z began to snicker. "Bridge, why are you trying to get Sky to kiss…uh…that thing on your hand?" asked Z.

Bridge looked at her. "It's not my idea." He said in his regular voice. "Poopsie Woopsie keeps telling me he loves Sky. Can I help it if he's in love with Sky?" Bridge looked in Sky's direction. Maybe he shouldn't have taken that shower while Poopsie Woopsie was drip-drying in the bathroom.

"Why oh why couldn't it at least have been a female puppet?" murmured a now red-faced Sky.

"Now, Bridge," said Jack, trying his hardest not to laugh. I think we should go have a little talk with Kat about your puppets talking to you. They may have some strong medication for that. Or perhaps even shock therapy."

"Oh, Kat already tried that," responded Bridge. "But she got really annoyed when my new friend here kept trying to hump her. She yanked off his eyes and ears and threw them on the floor." He held up his right hand. "Does anyone know of a good puppet hospital?"

"PEANUT!!!!!!" wailed Syd as she saw her now mangled friend jammed on Bridge's hand from a hole he had made in its bottom. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

5

"Cold, so cold," mumbled Sky as he crouched in the corner of Kat's lab rocking and moaning like he had been doing for the past five weeks.

"Don't worry, Sky," said Kat sympathetically. "You'll get better soon. This addiction will no longer affect you."

"How is he, Kat?" asked Bridge as he peeked into the lab.

"Bridge!" hissed Kat. "Get away from here! You know you're not allowed to see him just yet!"

But it was too late. Sky had leapt up and dashed to his friend in less than two seconds. "Please, please, please be a pal and let me just study one of them for just a few minutes. Please, pretty please?" He yanked hard at one of the only two SPD manuals available anywhere on Earth that had been Krazy-glued to Bridge's hands.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaa!!!!!!" cried Bridge as he pulled back his now bloodied left hand and then subsequently collapsed at the combined emotions of the crazed man drooling over the manual and the now furious Kat.

"Great," growled Kat at the now moaning Bridge. "Five weeks of intense therapy down the drain."

AN- Ok, that was actually fun. I may do more if I come up with any other ideas. If so, I'll just add it as a chapter to this one.


	2. Mighty Morphin Fanfics

Disclaimer: I don't own the Rangers. That's all.

Hi! This is my second contribution to this series. It's based on things I've seen done in Power Ranger fanfictions.

**Five Things not seen in your Typical Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Fanfiction**

**By**

**Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)**

1

One day, Zedd and Rita got smart and sent every single monster, putty, super putty, and tenga they had down to Earth. Every major city was infested. It took all of the Rangers' courage and determination just to keep everyone from dying. Even so, billions died. By the time the Rangers had finished the fight by exploding all of Earth's nuclear weapons on the moon palace, there were only several thousand people left.

One by one the Rangers teleported into the Power Chamber from whichever city they each had been fighting in.

"Owwwww," said Zack. "I am going to be sore for days."

"Don't complain," replied Tommy. "At least you're alive."

"Yeah, you're right about that," agreed Zack. "Hey, where are Kim and Billy?"

"I don't know," replied Trini who had been dating the Blue Ranger for almost a year. "I hope they're okay. But what should we about all those other people? Can't we at least have a memorial service for them?"

"Maybe we could," answered Jason. "Once we rest, we should check on the survivors. We should see if they're fine where they are or if we should gather everyone in the same part of the world."

"But, aren't you guys worried about Kim and Billy?" asked Zack. "Why aren't you going ballistic right now?"

"With most of the world already dead, how can I get even more freaked out?" replied Trini. "How are they or any of us any more important than all those who had been killed?"

"Yeah," agreed Tommy. "I hope they're alright. But I'm already so numb from losing so many friends and relatives. I don't even know who's still alive in Angel Grove."

Jason examined the computerized map. "We're lucky that there are some survivors here. Whole cities and even countries have been wiped out."

"But, it's Kim and Billy," complained Zack. "If I were dating a Ranger, I'd be worried sick right now."

"Fine," sighed Tommy. "Alpha please scan for…"

Then Kim and Billy teleported in. "Hi, guys!" Kim called cheerfully. "Sorry we're late, but Billy and I met up in Paris and decided to get some ice cream before teleporting back. Do you know how difficult it was to find an ice cream stand that was still open?"

"See?" Tommy asked Zack. "Nothing to worry about."

(Eccchh….I just couldn't get this one right. I just see so many stories where a lot of people die, but the Rangers don't seem to really get upset unless their boyfriend/girlfriend is in trouble. But this is the worst of my five stories, which is why I put it first.)

2

"Man, that Inkjettison was a really tough monster," said Tommy as he reappeared in the Power Chamber. "Well, I'm going to go home and take a shower. See you."

"Wait, Tommy," boomed Zordon. "What about the others? They're all covered with ink and tied up with super strong printer ribbon."

"So? How's that my problem?" asked Tommy. "Hmmm…maybe I'll stop over at Wendy's and get me some chili on the way home."

"How's that your problem? HOW'S THAT YOUR PROBLEM?!" bellowed an angered Zordon. "You were the one who kept shoving the others towards Inkjettison in order to keep your own white suit clean. Don't you even feel guilty about it?"

"Nope," yawned Tommy. "Now, if you don't mind, I don't want to miss the Dodger's game, so I'm out of here." He teleported away just as his teammates' cries for help came over the communication system.

(Some stories have Tommy feeling guilty for the silliest things.)

3

"Boy, that was a tough fight," said Tommy as he and the other Zeo Rangers powered down.

"Yeah," agreed Tanya, "but we missed lunch. Maybe we should go to that diner over there and get a bite to eat."

"Sounds good to me," replied Kat.

The Rangers went into the diner and were soon seated. They opened up their menus and studied them for a while. Shortly after, they ordered their drinks.

"How are you doing?" asked their young waitress as she approached them with their drinks. "Are you ready to order?" She continued when the others nodded. "The soup of the day is minestrone and the specials are on the board. So, what can I get you?"

"I'll have a chicken salad sandwich, light on the mayo please. And coleslaw on the side please," said Kat.

"I'd like a Reuben, light on the sauerkraut, please," said Tanya.

"Hmmm…I think I'll have a cheeseburger, medium well, please," said Jason.

"I'm going to have the Greek salad, with balsamic vinaigrette, please" said Adam.

"And, I'll have the tuna melt, on rye bread, please. And can I please have more water?" asked Tommy.

"Certainly, Sir," replied the waitress. She turned to the last member of the little group. "And what are you having?"

Rocky looked up at her. "Just a small side salad. No dressing, please. I'm watching my figure."

(Yeah, I don't remember Rocky eating so much in the show. But somehow he ended up with that trait in fanfics.)

4

"Hello? Who's calling?"

"Jason, it's me, Tommy."

"Yo, Tommy! What's up! I haven't heard from you in almost five years."

"I've got an emergency! It's really important!"

"Whoa there! You really sound frazzled. Calm down. What's wrong?"

"Kim's in the hospital. She bumped her head on the steering wheel."

"Oh my God! Is she unconscious?"

"No, but the doctor said she may have a concussion."

"Oh, well sorry about that. I hope she's okay. So, what's the emergency?"

"Well, it's already been an hour and no one's visited her yet. Adam and Tanya refused to leave their honeymoon suite in Honolulu. Zack said his director would kick him off the show if he leaves before Friday. Justin has finals all week. Trini and Billy promised to send her a get-well card. Rocky has that thing about hospitals ever since he hurt his back. And Kat said she's not leaving her grand tour of Europe for and I quote 'that slut who stole you from me.' Can you come?"

"Hmmmmm…let me check my calendar. I've got a real important meeting on Thursday. Oh, I do have some free time this weekend. No, no, wait that's my fishing trip. Hmmmm…how about next Tuesday?"

"Thanks a lot, _Pal_."

(So many stories have all the Rangers dropping everything whenever someone's in the hospital and then hanging around there all day in a big group.)

5

"Oh wow! I can't believe you're here!" cried Rocky.

"Yes," said Bobo, his Ape guide. "Now we can climb trees and pick nits off each other." They both ran off.

"And I'm just thrilled that you're here too," gushed Kimberly.

"Oh, I think I know of a mall on the East Coast I can take you to," responded Dodo, her Crane guide. Kim jumped on her back and they flew away.

"Aw, man Yoyo," Tommy said to his Falcon guide, "it's great seeing you again."

"Hey, Tommy," replied Yoyo. "I've got a large mirror. Let's practice our cool moves in it together."

"So, what do you want to do?" Aisha asked her Bear guide, Lolo.

"Oh, I just love how you braided your hair. Can you do that with my fur?"

"Sure," replied Aisha.

"Adam, I know I'm just a frog," began Coco his Frog guide.

"But…"

"I'm over that, Coco," replied Adam. "How about showing me how I can incorporate some frog moves in my martial arts, Buddy?"

"Hello?" asked Billy as everyone left. "Oh great, I get stuck alone yet again."

(Every time there's a story about the Rangers spirit animals, it's about Billy's wolf. The other animals get ignored).

Well, that's it for this one. I hope I haven't offended anyone too much.


End file.
